Metal Gear: In Da Hood II
by C Dink
Summary: The Sequel to Metal Gear: In Da Hood...well that goes without saying..but..well just read it.Chapter 6 up.RR.
1. Same Ole' Song And Dance

**Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear, or anything else I might mention in this story **

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II  
**

**By: C Dink**

**Chapter 1: Same Ole' Song And Dance**

_AU: Okay..so this is my sequel to Metal Gear: In Da Hood.I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the original.I promise this won't just be another story, this one is actually gonna have a plot and maybe some serious stuff in there aswell.Here you go_

Announcer: Hello there..my role is to tell you exactly what to expect from this chapter..and what to remember from the last...prepare to be informed of none..well if you haven't read the first one...needless to say read it first.I'll set you up.well basically Otacon and Snake are just living on there own in the city.It's been two months since they moved there..and still they've done nothing...until...

(Snake and Otacon are sitting in there living room.Snakes playing banjo Otacons not.)

Otacon: Any chance you could stop that?

Snake: Otacon, I've been playing the banjo my whole life how can you ask me to stop now?

Otacon: Snake you started playing a week ago.

(Theres a knock on there door)

Guy: Hal and Dave? I'm here to collect your rent...says you haven't payed it in the two months you've been here.I know your in there!

Otacon: How do you know?

Guy: Well it's simple I...

Snake: If you say you read it I'll tear your fucking limbs off!

Guy:: Oh..well in that case...I didn't know.

Snake: Then we must not be in here..you better get going.

Guy: Thats probably a good idea...hey wait I know your in there..you've been talking to me!

Otacon: They have a real top notch staff here.

Guy: I'm coming in there.

Snake: Good luck! We're heavily fortified!

(Guy opens the door and walks in)

Snake: Dammit Otacon! I told you to start locking that door.

Otacon: Sorry...

Guy: I have a large blunt object and I plan on striking you with it!

Otacon: Woah! calm down!

Snake: Lets talk this over, Otacon get him some "coffee".

Otacon: Ok...wait..do you really mean coffee?

Snake: I mean "coffee", why don't you get him some of that?

Otacon: Ok..is this one of those games?

Snake: For fucks sake Otacon! I'll go get it.

(Snake goes into the kitchen.)

Guy: What are you two planning?

Otacon: I honestly have know idea.

(Suddenly snake strikes and kills him with a frying pan.)

Snake: How did you not understand this?

Otacon: How the hell was I suppose to know coffee means kill the rent guy?

Snake: No "coffee" means that...dumbass. I mean we've been at this for years Otacon, pick it up a bit.

Otacon: What the hell are you talking about! We haven't been at anything like this for years.

Snake: I guess you'll just never get it.

(Snake shakes his head)

Otacon:...For the love of...well anyway..about the body?

Snake: Put it with the rest..you know in the community freezer.

Otacon: Right...wait we have a community freezer? Did you make that up?

Snake: Fuck Otacon, just do the damn thing.

_2 hours later_

Otacon: Snake still with the banjo!

Snake: It's in my soul.

Otacon: ugh... you know what we need...lives.

Snake: Nah, they just nag and get mad.

Otacon: What?

Snakes: Wives..they nag and get mad.

Otacon: I said lives..we could use lives.

Snake: Oh..I see this was just a misunderstanding..oh how funny.

Otacon: Um..right.

Snake: Oh, how rich.

Otacon: Sure is.

Snake: MAN! how funny.

Otacon: Joke was over awhile go buddy.

Snake: Sorry..I kinda got carried away. So how do you suppose we get these "lives" you speak of?

Otacon: Jobs would help. I wanna be able to actually abide the law and not kill the rent collectors.

Snake: Pansy. Fine lets go look for employment...

(Otacon gets up)

Snake: Tomorrow.

(Otacon falls over)

_The next day..._

(Snake and Otacon are looking at an old building)

Otacon: I want this place we can start a business!

Snake: For once I agree with you.

(Snake walks up to the man beside the building)

Snake: Hello!

Man Beside The Building: Hello chap! Im the aptly named Man Beside The Building! Most call me MBTB.

Snake: Fuck me backwards, are you british!

Otacon: Your not surprised at his odd name?

Snake: We know people named Vamp,Ocelot, and Fatman...nothing surprises me.

Otacon: Yeah but there not as...

MBTB: Not as what?British?

Snake: My gosh Otacon are you a racist?

Otacon: No no. I was gonna say generic.

MBTB: Oh! Generic..yeah I agree with you there,mate.

Snake: Right..well we'd like to buy this building!

MBTB: And i'd love to sell it to ya...

Otacon: Great!

MBTB: ...If I owned it. See I'm merely standing here, mate. Your looking for a chap by the name of Man Who Owns This Building.

Otacon: More lack of creativity...

Snake: Oh I see...were can we find him?

MBTB: Well he's usually either down by the theatre or the town centre.

Snake: Um..either the what or the what?

MBTB: The theatre or the centre.

Snake: Otacon, you getting any of this?

Otacon...theater or center.

Snake: Oh!Right right. How will we know who he is?

MBTB: He usually wears the colour purple.

(Snake looks at Otacon)

Otacon: Color Snake...color.

Snake: Well were gonna go find him!

MBTB: Right oh! Well see you chaps around then I suppose?

(Snake and Otacon walk off into the sunset)

_To be continued..._

_AU: Okay..I really am working harder on this this then the original. Please,Please, Please review..even if it's bad I just wanna know how I can improve.Thanks and thanks for reading._


	2. Sing A Song Of Sixpence

**Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear, or anything else I might mention in this story**

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II  
**

**By: C Dink**

**Chapter Two: Sing A Song For Sixpence  
**

_AU: Okay, so that title has nothing to do with the story.But it seems fitting, a small portion of this chapter was written by Ocelot.but he didn't read the first so he didn't do much...but you wait._

Announcer: So I was told to be nicer to you guys this time around or I'd be fired.And I like my job..so..when we last left our two adventurers...they were looking for Man who owns the building...so here they are.

(Snake and Otacon stop in the street)

Snake: How do we find ole' Whats-his-name again?

Otacon: Man Who Owns This Building?

Snake: Right..

Otacon: Well, Man Beside...MBTB said he's usually at the theater or town center.

Snake: So do we split up or what?

Otacon: No look behind you.

(Snake turned around and saw a bar called the theater or town center)

Snake: How very convenient.

Otacon: I realized this stories flaw...

Snake: Otacon...

Otacon: Were so far out of character it's no wonder no one likes this CDink's comedy. Well that and all that fourth wall business..

Snake:...

Otacon: And the corny jokes about the fourth wall.

Snake: How about you go have sex with your step-mother..maybe that'd make you feel a bit more in character.

Otacon...that was uncalled for.

Snake: Let's just go, we can talk about this anytime.

(They go into the building)

Snake: Okay..find someone dressed in purple.

Otacon: Snake. you know how it was really convenient we found this building?

Snake: Yes.

Otacon: Well, Lets just say this is an inconvenience.

(He points to a sign that reads "Wear Purple Day")

Snake: This is just fucking ridiculous.

Otacon: I'll handle this.

(He walks into the main room)

Otacon: Man Who Owns This Building!

Snake: You dick.

(A man stands up and walks over)

MWOTB: My name is Man Who Owns _That _Building around here.

Snake: Wow a locational name!

Otacon: That's confusing.

MWOTB: Well, If you want you can call me Keith.

Otacon: Is that your name?

Keith: Fuck no.I'm Paul

Snake: Then why don't we call you Paul?

Keith: That wouldn't make any sense.

Snake: Right.

Otacon: So MBTB is a nickname then?

Keith: Sure is. It's so people know, hey he owns that building!

Snake: Thats brilliant!

Keith: Right, so how can I help you two?

Snake: We're looking to buy your building.

Keith: Fuck you!

Snake: Damn!

Otacon: Look we know that you love that building.

Keith: It means more to me than my wife!

Snake: Can we buy her?

Keith: How much?

Otacon: Snake focus!

Snake: Right, we'll give you 16 bucks for the building.

Keith: Fuck that!

Snake: 20 bucks and a one dollar coin!

Keith: Deal!

Otacon: Wow...how much did you buy it for?

Keith: Buy? I found it sitting on the street.

Otacon: ...

Snake: Wow, must have been your lucky day.

Keith: Yeah, and there was all these computers and stuff in there, but the next day these guys tried to take it all away..said it belonged to some guy named Konami.

Otacon: So you stole the Konami building?

Keith: Finders keepers, bitch

Otacon: Were your parents brother and sister?

Keith: How'd you know?

Snake: We'll we're gonna leave.

(Later that night)

Snake: What the hell are we gonna do with this building?

Otacon: Let's make it into a pizza and movie rental place!

Snake: No..

Otacon: Oh, A contraceptive shop?

Snake: Um, wow.

Otacon: A womans clothing store?

Snake: How about you sit a couple plays out.

Otacon: Fine...

Snake: Good, I think I'm making it into a record store!

Otacon: Like a buy,sell,trade kinda deal?

Snake: Fuck yeah!

Otacon: How will we start it?

Snake: Out of our own collections!

Otacon: Lets do it!

_A few weeks later_

Snake: I did it!

Otacon: I'm proud of us!

Snake: You clearly weren't listening..I said I did it you moron.

Otacon: We'll...fuck you.

Snake: Otacon..this is no time to spread the gay...were opening shop!

Otacon: The grand opening!

Snake: Hell yeah.

(They open the door and setup)

Snake: I feel good, Otacon.

Otacon: Shit, give me back the pills Snake.

(A man walks in)

Snake: Get the fuck out!

(Snake points his gun at him, and the man runs out)

Otacon: Snake, he was a customer!

Snake: Oh...damn I'm sorry.

Otacon: Here get this one.

(young boy walks in)

Snake: Hello...

Boy: Hi...Do you guys have any Spice Girls?

Otacon: Fuck...

Snake: Get the fuck out!

(Points gun at boy, and he runs out)

Otacon: Snake, how about I take the next one?

Snake: Fine.

(Man walks in)

Otacon: Hello, sir.

Man: Hey, um you got any Who?

Otacon: Who?

Man: Yes.

Otacon: Sorry we don't have any Yes.

Man: Nevermind, got any Beatles?

Otacon: No.

Man: ACDC?

Otacon: No.

Man: Styx?

Otacon: I love them.

Man: Great, what of theres do you have?

Otacon: We don't.

Man: What do you have?

Otacon: Snake, please read off our inventory.

Snake: 27 copies of James Earl Jones reads The Bible.

Otacon: Hell yeah!

Man: Are you joking?

Otacon: Bibles nothing to joke about.

Snake: Neither is James Earl Jones.

Man: You guys need a wider...no, a selection at all.

Otacon: Give us a break, were working out of our own collections here.

Man: Who owns 27 copies of James Earl Jones reads The Bible?

Snake: Hey you hush your..

Otacon: No, let it go Snake.

Man: Fucking weirdos.

(He leaves)

Snake: How dare he insult Lord Vader. Asshole.

Otacon: We do need a wider selection though.

Snake: Fuck! let's do it next chapter.

Otacon: Fine.

_To Be Continued... _

AU: Please review guys...I need to know what im doing wrong so I can fix it...or whether to just stop writing period. Because I don't want to waste my time if no one likes it. Thanks Guys


	3. A Curse On Both Your Houses

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II  
**

**By: C Dink**

**Chapter 3: A Curse On Both Your Houses...**

_AU: Here it is..this chapter has been through a lot, I wrote it in school, than lost it..so now I'm putting on the computer from memory, but I have a good idea what I had.this marks the return of the one and only...Ocelot1092  
_

Announcer: Um..Snake and Otacon were talking about ..something..I'm not gonna lie I didn't read the last chapter.

(We see the scene.There is only night..endless night)

Otacon: Snake, do you read me?

Snake: Loud and clear, Otacon.

Otacon: Ok Snake, Lets try not to be seen.

Snake: Isn't that kind of the point of a spy mission? Oh, and no need to talk about any Action Buttons either.

Otacon: Fine. Snake don't be reckless, It's been a good while sense you've seen any action.

Snake: Relax, Otacon. A Snake is like fine wine..it never loses it's..

Otacon: Snake, what about fox-d-

Snake: Otacon, I'm about to tell you something, and im not gonna sugar-coat it, ok?

Otacon: Go on..

Snake: I don't fucking care what you think..

Otacon: Touche'.

Snake: Oh, En' Garde.

Otacon: No, thats not...never mind..Snake just get in there and get out.

Snake: Ok, like with a prostitute.

Otacon: right...

(Snake finds a window and drops down)

Snake: I'm in.

Otacon: Complete the objective.

(Snake begins to work in the dark, until a light hits him)

Man: Hark who goes there?

Snake:...

Man: I shan't ask again kind sir please state thine name.

Otacon: Snake, be careful..he talks funny

Snake: My name is Solid Snake

Man: Solid Snake!!

Snake: Yeah

Otacon: Snake..I may have to say I told you so...

Snake: About What?

Man: Who are you talking to?

Snake: What ..how can you here me? I'm using CODEC!

Man: What are you talking about? Your talking through cups and string.

Snake: What..oh I see..I, Uh. I can explain this.

Otacon: Ugh..about the whole "you've been out of the game for awhile thing".thats what I was gonna say I told you so about

Man: HAHA, the mighty Solid Snake is a loser.

Snake:...

Man: You know what..I'm just gonna leave you be...here I'll turn on the light.

(The lights reveal snake in the middle of a record store..stealing there products)

Otacon: I told you this was a bad idea.

(the man takes Snakes side of the cup)

Man: Otacon, this you?.

Otacon: Yeah. I tried to tell him not to do this, that we should just buy more records. He said "No no, this is faster"

Man: Haha, I feel yeah.

(Snake coughs)

Man: Oh, I gotta go.

(He gives the cup to Snake)

Man: Maybe you should find a day job, because this whole spy things not cutting it.

Snake:...Fuck you.

Man: What?

Snake: Thank you..I said thank you..you know for your um, criticism

Man: ...right, bye

(The next day)

Otacon: Snake, we did it we got a real record store now.

Snake: Yeah...

Otacon: Snake, that whole you screwing up thing still bothering you?

Snake: Otacon, you don't know what it's like...

Otacon: Sure I do...I remember when I had stopped playing World Of Warc..

Snake: Stop right there..not only can we not legally say that..but also I don't give a fuck about your stupid nerd talk.

Otacon: I was only trying to sympathise..

Snake: Otacon, it's different though, i was actually good..

Otacon: Your a real sweetheart..

Snake: Both a gift and a curse.

Otacon:...

(A man barges in with a gun and a mask on)

Man: Give me all your money...please..

Snake: Fuck, not now!

Man: Oh, should I come back?

Otacon: No your fine.

Man: I don't wanna be a burden.

Otacon: Here, I'll even put this in a bag for you.

Man: Thats, really nice of you. I'm gonna look around a bit if you don't mind.

Otacon: Go right ahead.

Snake: Otacon, he's robbing us.

Otacon: No no, he was asking politely.

Snake: So, your gonna aquiesce to this?

Otacon: I appreciate when people are polite.Wait, you don't even know what aquiesce means.

Snake: Damn, you called my bluff. I'm gonna mope some more.

(Man comes back to get the money)

Man: Thanks for this..really..

Snake: Get the fuck out!

Man: you need to work on his attitude.

(man leaves)

Otacon: Well that was stupid...he didn't even steal any records...what did you get last night Snake?

Snake: James Earl Jones reads the New Testament...

Otacon: Oh...nice choice

Snake: I'm gonna take the rest of the day off...I'm gonna go lay naked on your bed and eat ice cream

Otacon: Ok, I'm gonna put some help wanted signs up then I'll head home too.

(Otacon gets home)

Snake: Hey Otacon, someone is here to collect rent...I'd take care of it but I'm naked

Otacon: Want me to bring them some coffee?

Snake: No, this time hit them with a frying pan.

(Otacon walks in the living room with a frying pan and sees an old man)

Old Man: Hi. I'm looking for my son..Pierre Le' Gotte?

Otacon: You filthy frenchman!

(Otacon hits him with a frying pan)

Otacon: To the freezer with you!

_Cut to Snake _

Snake: Oh..how sad I am.

Voice: Snake!

Snake: Who's there!

(A man appears in front of him in a cloak)

Cloaked Man: Snake, I can help you.

Sanke: Holy hell, am I high?

CM: No, your in a perfect state of mind.

Snake: Well, I just lit up like six joints.

CM: Well, maybe a little high...look, I know how you can redeem yourself, Solid Snake!

Snake: Hows that, Mr. I'm a hallucination?

CM: You must defeat...Captain Planet and the planateers!

Snake: Right...well im gonna go drink myself into a coma..see you mister not real.

CM: Seriously, I'm real!

Snake: Then how'd you get in here?

CM: I...came in through the bathroom window...

Snake: Oh, that was a terrible reference...

CM: Remember what I said snake!

(CM leaves)


	4. Operation Death Star

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II  
**

**By: C Dink**

**Chapter 4: Operation Death Star**

**  
Authors note: Heres an update..finally**

Announcer: Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name,When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?But wherefore, villain, didst thou-

Announcer 2: What the hell are you doing?

Announcer: Um..I, well I wanna be an actor..im practicing..

Announcer 2: why a womens role though?

Announcer: Another dream of mine...

Announcer 2: Wow..I'm taking over.

(Now to the story. Snake(Fully clothed) walks into the living room)

Otacon: Snake! How are you.

Snake: Um..can you hold the fort down for a bit?

Otacon: Your going somewhere?

Snake: Yeah..um I'll see you in a week.

Otacon: ...but Snake!

(Snake walks outside)

Otacon: I bet he's going to find himself.

_Snake in the car _

Snake: Okay, Mr.Cloak...I'll abide your wishes!

Mr.Cloak: Thank you.

Snake: Ahh, snuck up on me again!

Mr.Cloak: Sorry bout that.

Snake: Do I have an official name for you?

Mr.Cloak: Hmmm, call me...Dr. Dark.

Snake: You can't be serious?

Dark: Dead serious.

Snake: Okay, Dr.Dark..where do I begin my journey?

Dark: Start downtown!

(Dark jumps out the window)

Snake: Holy shit! He's got style

_Otacon at work _

(Otacon walks in the store and sees a few men in suits)

Otacon: Oh, here to apply for a job?

Man I: We're with Konami..were here to take back this building!

Otacon: Oh, shit! what the hell happened to finders keepers?

Man II: Fuck finders keepers! Unless theres something you can give us?

Otacon: I got James Earl Jones reads...

Man III: Worthwhile items my friend!

Otacon: Wait!Wait!...I'll tell you my story!

Man II: Why would we wanna hear a story?

Otacon: I think you'll like this one...

_Snakes Adventure _

(Snake gets to downtown and gets out of the car)

Snake: Where would I find Captain Planet?

(Snake sees a bar called Has-Beens)

Snake: Thats a good start.

(He walks in)

Barman: My Gosh, Solid Snake..we've been expecting you!

Snake: Oh, why thank...wait...

Barman: Have a seat!

Snake: Look, Barman..were can I find Captain Planet!

(Barman looks weary)

Barman: Looking, for Captain Planet, eh?

Snake: Yes

Barman: You don't know what your getting into!!

Snake: What?

Barman: Leave that man be..I beg...I beg...ahhhhh.

(The Barman dies...from heart-attack)

Snake: Fuck...well, hears a trick I could use...DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND CAPTAIN PLANET?

(The bar falls silent, 5 kids walk forward)

Kid 1: Looking for him? Why...

Snake: Look...how about you just show me?

Kid 1: Earth!

(Snake falls over because of an earthquake)

Snake: Okay, you little bastard!

Kid 1: Im Kwami!

2: Im Wheeler!

3: Linka's my name!

4: Im Gi

5: Im Ma-Ti

Snake: Fuck...

Wheeler: Fire!

(Snake catches on fire)

Gi: Water!

(Snake is put out)

Snake: Thats it you little fuckers...

(Snake stars firing shots into the bar)

Kids: Ahhhhhh, a gun.

Snake: Now who's the fucking boss!

Man: Tony Danza!

(Snake shoots the man)

Wheeler: I hope your ready to feel the full force of the planeteers!

Snake:...

Wheeler: Ma-Ti! Go!

Ma-Ti: Heart!

(Nothing happens)

Snake: What?

Wheeler: Hahaha..it was a joke..Ma-Ti..go have a seat or something.

Snake: Wait...his power is heart?

Wheeler: Yeah I know!

Kwame: It's not even an element

Snake: Hahaaha

Ma-Ti: Fuck you guys..

Wheeler: What the hell did you say to me,.bitch?

Ma-Ti: No..I didn't!

Wheeler: You'll get yours later you little...

Snake(Thinking): Jesus...what am I up against?

_Otacon _

Otacon: ..so anyways..after the DARPA chief died..snake met a female soldier

Man II: Female..soldier?

(Man II whispers to Man I)

Man II: Maybe you should take some notes on this Hideo..

Hideo: Thanks...Steve.

Man III: My name is Billy.

Steve:...

Hideo:...

Otacon:...

Billy: Just sayin...

_Snake!!! _

Snake: Summon Captain Planet you bastards!

Wheeler: What do you want with Master Planet!

Snake: I wanna talk to him...do it!

Ma-Ti: I think he's lying!

Wheeler: Thank god your here Ma-Ti..what the fuck would we do without you?

Linka: Leave him alone you asshole!

Wheeler: That good in bed is he?

Linka: Excuse me?

Kwame: Don't play dumb you little slut, you've fucked the whole damn state!

Linka: ...

Snake: These fuckers are crazy!

(Suddenly Snake is hit by fire and goes flying into the far wall, )

Wheeler: Tie him up Gi.

Gi: You do it.

Wheeler: Oh...you little bitch!

(Snake passes out)

_To Be Continued..._

AU: Well..schools back..but...I'll try my best to get everything out in time! Stay tuned!!!


	5. 4:19

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II  
**

**By: C Dink**

**Chapter 5: 4:19**

**Authors note: Wow, I feel really good about some of the recent stuff I've written, so please leave reviews...**

Announcer: The Planateers knocked out Snake, and no one gives a fuck about Otacon.

(Snake awakens)

Snake: Awww..fuck me what'd I drink last night?

Wheeler: You were only out about ten minutes.

(Snake realizes he's tied up)

Snake: What the hell do you think this is?

Ma-Ti: Your tied...

Wheeler: Shut the fuck up Ma-Ti..he knows he's tied up!

_Otacon_

Otacon: ...now here comes the sad part...Snake shoots wolf…

All 3 Men: Good lord no!

(They Sob)

Snake: He called me gay for crying!

Hideo: No offense, but I don't think it was the crying.

Otacon: What?

Billy: He said no offense.

Otacon: Right...

_Snake_

Wheeler: Why did you want Captain Planet?

Snake: I just wanted to talk!

Wheeler: Liar! You killed people to get to him!

Snake: Nonsense!

Wheeler: You tried to kill us!

Ma-Ti: Yeah!

Wheeler: Ma-Ti...didn't we talk about the whole you not talking thing?

Ma-Ti: Sorry.

Wheeler: You fucking well should be.

Snake: Quit playing games Wheeler, summon Captain Planet!

Wheeler: Never!

Snake: Please?

Wheeler: Well, I do like manners.

Kwame: That was dreadful dialogue...

Snake: ...don't start that shit Kwame...trust me.

(Wheeler summons Captain Planet)

Captain Planet: What the fuck do you guys want? I had three dime-pieces in my dimension!

Wheeler: Well, this man here...

Captain Planet: Let me guess he put a plastic bottle in the glass box? He littered? .

Wheeler: ………….

Planet: Damn...anyway, what'd he do?

Wheeler: I think he wants to kill you.

Planet: I see…..take me to the prisoner.

Snake: I'm right here.

Planet: Ma-Ti.…..

Snake: What the hell are you on about, I'm right here!

Ma-Ti: ...Here is the prisoner...

Planet: Ahem...

Ma-Ti: ...Oh Captain my Captain.

Planet: Very nice! Thank you Ma-Ti.

Snake: .…………

Planet: So, wanting to kill me, eh?

Snake: Fuck you!

(Wheeler whispers to Kwame)

Wheeler: Is that a yes or a no?

Kwame: Umm, I really can't tell, to be fair he really didn't answer.

Wheeler: Well, yeah true, but I mean he did show anger, maybe a little hatred toward Captain.

Ma-Ti: I think-

Wheeler: Ma-Ti, no one gives a damn what you think.

Kwame: I do Ma-Ti.

Ma-Yi: Oh, well-

Kwame: Yeah, I'm just kidding Ma-Ti...stop talking.

Ma-Ti: Awwww.

Planet: Why do you want to kill me?

Snake: I think you know!

Planet: Oh, so that was your daughter? Well look she was already dead when I-

Snake: No! Not that.

Planet: So that must have been your car...look it was already broken down when I-

Snake: No! Wrong again! I'm here to regain my credibility!

Planet: Really? Huh, well I guess that's an honor on my part.….to get killed by Sam Fisher and all.

Snake: …...

Planet: So. I guess I'm a legend,that's why you came after me?

Snake: No, A man told me too...

Planet: Do you usually talk to strangers?

Wheeler: Aww, fuck here he goes...

(Planet turns to face you)

Planet: It may not be something we like to think about, but there are people in the world that would do harm to our children, given the chance. Children are abducted every day from their own back yards or right in front of their own schools. It is crucial that we as parents give our children the tools to protect themselves from strangers and learn how to stand up for there own safety. It might be well and good to teach your child not to talk to strangers, but do they know what a stranger is? Some kids think that strangers are people who look scary or talk funny, but a stranger can be a nice lady, an older child, or a kind looking man who has lost his dog. Anyone who is not a close family friend or someone who you regularly leave your child with should be considered a stranger. Your child should know that it is o.k. to talk to strangers if you are standing right beside them, but not if you have your back turned or are a few feet away. Ask your child to get your attention if anyone speaks to him, immediately! If someone offers something to your child, instruct him or her that they must tell the stranger that they need to get you first. Tell your kids to NEVER go with ANYONE and if someone tries to force them, they should scream, run, kick, hit, do anything in their power to get away. Adults don't ask children for help, let your child know that this is a trick often used by bad strangers. It is important that your child knows that he should not be in a situation where anyone would have the opportunity to do harm to him. This means that he should never walk anywhere alone, run off from you in public, or be somewhere without you knowing about it. Parks, malls and crowded events are prime targets for those who victimize children. The noise and confusion are perfect covers. Keep an extra close eye on your children in these situations and let them know the importance of staying by your side. Many schools are now making stranger safety a regular part of their curriculum, but don't wait for your child to learn these important things in school, they should know it long before they ever get to school. There is no such thing as too young to learn about stranger safety!

Snake: You're a cunt. This guy was no stranger

Planet: Who was it?

Snake: His name was Dr.Dark!

All: Hahahahahaha!

Planet: Ma-Ti, did you laugh with us?

Ma-Ti: ...Yes

Planet: I've told you once…..that's 5 minutes with the stove..

Ma-Ti: ...Yes captain

Snake: I thought you were a hero!

Planet: I was, till I discovered this little thing called-

Wheeler: LOVE!!!

Planet: -Acid

Wheeler: .…………

Planet: Wheeler...

Wheeler: I know...5 minutes with the stove.

Snake: So you burn these poor people with a stove!

Snake: Burn? You sadistic fuck, I make them bake!

Wheeler: Trust me, that's worse for this guy.

Planet: Now it's ten, keep going stupid!

Wheeler: Awwwww.

_Otacon_

Otacon: Okay, that's when snake meets Vulcan Raven.

Billy: So...besides pissing yourself, and crying, and walking around in stealth camo like a damn baby….what part do you play here?

Otacon: I fucking made Metal Gear!

All: Eh, fair enough.

_Snake_

Planet: Ma-Ti, take him to the dungeons!

Ma-Ti: …...we have dungeons?

Planet : .………

Ma-Ti: .…………

Wheeler: ……..

Kwame: .………

Linka: .………

Snake: .……..Awkward!

Planet: Just take him to the dungeons! Jesus, Ma-Ti!

_To be continued_

**AU: ****Well, I've been liking these last few chapter.This chapter was originally way longer, but I decided to split it in half since it was enough content for two chapters. Next one will be out within a day or two. so RR**


	6. Revelation

**Metal Gear:**

**In Da Hood II**

**By: CDink **

**Chapter 6: Revelation**

AU: Well, here's technically Chapter 5 part two. I hope you guys enjoy this. Oh, and I have not seen a single review since the first chapter, If it's bad let me know. Well here you go. Oh, and I used Dun Dun Dun's at all scene shifts..for two reasons, because when I uploaded the story it wouldn't keep anything but that in italics(if anyone could tell me why in a review please do), and also because this chapter has plot twists..I figured I'd make the most of the situation.

Announcer: Leave me the fuck alone! Every goddamn chapter you always bug me about shit. Read the fucking...oh, shit, no nooooo.

CDink: My apologies for the attitude of my announcer...he's been taken care of, and will be replaced.

Announcer: I ain't dead yet bitch!

CDink: Oh, you little...umm, enjoy the story guys.

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

Ma-Ti: Don't you move!

Snake: You know your dungeon is a closet right?

Ma-Ti: Were down on funding.

Snake: You get funding? From who?

Ma-Ti: Hal and Dave's Record Shop.

Snake: What! That's my store and we certainly do not fund you!

Ma-Ti: Well not by choice you don't.

Snake: You bastard! You were the robber!

Ma-Ti: Yeah, sorry about that, I had to test you...

Snake: Wow, this is a-

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

Otacon: -Plot twist, yeah it would seem they tricked snake into activating Metal Gear.

Billy: So...Liquid was Master Miller?

Otacon: No, he was impersonating him!

Hideo: Master Miller was?

Otacon: No...Snake!

Billy: Solid Snake!

Otacon: What? No, Liquid.

Hideo: That's fucking ridiculous!

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

Snake: So, next I suppose you'll be telling me your Dr.Dark?

Ma-Ti: How else could I get you to kill Captain Planet?

Snake: So, you're on my side?

Ma-Ti: We share a common enemy.

Snake: Wow. This is almost serious.

Ma-Ti: Start calling me by my codename…..Buckwall!

Snake: Surely your joking.

Ma-Ti: Just call me Buck.

Snake: So, why me?

Buck: You were least qualified for the job.

Snake: Oh, wait what?

Buck: My mission was to kill captain planet. I had to kill the real Ma-Ti to do it aswell, I didn't mind.

Snake: That doesn't really answer my question, but all right. So, you're a double agent? For who?

Buck: Not important. Look, are you gonna finish your job?

Snake: But why? Why Captain Planet?

Buck: He's too preachy for me.

Snake: Oh that's true.

Buck: Anymore questions?

Snake: Well-

Buck: -I'll answer those later, like just in the nick of time.

Snake: I'm used to that…

Buck: I have to keep my cover for now though…so cya.

Snake: What? Wait!

Buck: Yes?

Snake: What do you want me to do?

Buck: Break free at 18:00 hours, I'll be spending my time at the stove.

Snake: With Wheeler!

Buck: Exactly! I'll take him out, then we'll only have four to deal with.

Snake: Well, I have guns!

Buck: Um..well, I don't think-

Snake: I don't know if you heard me right….I have guns!

Buck: Whatever, break free at 18:00 hours.

Snake: Um….Buck…

Buck: 6:00 Snake.

Snake: I….I knew that….

(Buck leaves)

Snake: Shit, how the hell do I get out of this fortress?

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

Hideo: so, he fought Metal Gear…..with just a missile launcher?

Otacon: Bet, your ass!

Hideo: Boys, I think we hit the jackpot!

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

(12:00 hours)

Snake: Now I Wait.

(14:00 hours)

Snake: This would have been easier if I brought a watch.

(17:00 hours, Snake gets a call from Otacon)

Snake: Um, kinda busy!

Otacon: Snake, were gonna be rich!

Snake: What! How!

Otacon: Konami wants to make a video game based of our adventures!

Snake: Really? Then that means……

Otacon: Yeah, your not a loser like we all thought.

Snake: I know! Wait…

Otacon: So you have to get down here right away!

Snake: Okay, let me finish something first.

(Call ended)

Snake: No more fucking around!

(Snake kicks down the door)

Snake: Buck! Go!

(Screams and gunshots are heard)

Buck: I got Gi, Snake!

(he runs in from the kitchen)

Buck: You were early! I didn't get Wheeler!

(Wheeler, Kwame, and Linka run in)

Wheeler: Ma-Ti! You little-

Buck: I'm Buckwall, motherfucker!

Wheeler: Shit…

(Ma-Ti unloads on them)

Snake: Woah..you're a raving lunatic.

Buck: That just leaves-

Planet: -I knew it was you…..

Snake: Give up Planet! We've one.

Planet: Ok, I'm out.

Buck: Really?

Planet: Yeah.

(They both shoot him)

Planet: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! I WAS BLUFFING!!!!

Snake: That was a bad bluff.

Planet: FUCK ME!!!! IT HURTS GETTING SHOT!!!

Buck: I'll finish him!

Snake: No, no. One thing I've learned is that you have to give them time to speak…..

Planet: YOU COCKSUCKERS!!!!!FUCK YOU!!!!!!OH MY LORD THIS HURTS!!!!!

(Snake kills him)

Snake: Nevermind.

Buck: Well…that was easy.

Snake: Quite.

Snake: So, do I call you later?

Buck: Nah, I'd rather not speak to you ever again.

Snake: Oh, well goodbye.

(Snake leaves, buck gets a phone call)

Buck: Haha, yes all according to schedule, even his hour early escape. Yes….yes…..No, no he never got around to that…..yes, the Jell-O is still secure. Fantastic…..Mr. Director! 

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

Otacon: So, were even talking movie deals? 

Hideo: Yes, looks like it.

Otacon: This is amazing!

Hideo: Yeah, I'm glad you gave me the idea.

(He snaps his fingers and Billy grabs Otacon)

Otacon: What the-

Hideo: Can't have you taking _my_ good idea now can I?

Otacon: You brute!

Hideo: Haha, I must thank you for this "Creative masterpiece", however.

Otacon: Well, I do respect your manners.

Hideo: Right, dispose of him!

(Suddenly an explosion destroys the wall)

All: What the fuck!

Snake: I don't think so!

Otacon: Snake! You got your badass back!

Snake: Ha, yeah. I noticed.

Hideo: So, you're my star. Ha, I must say I'm impressed.

Snake: I thought you might be.

Hideo: I'm afraid all you've done however, is put yourself in just as much danger as your friend here.

Otacon: Thanks Snake!

Snake: Ha, Otacon don't worry, I've got this under control!

(Suddenly there both knocked out by frying pans)

Hideo: Clearly not….Hahahahaha!

_Dun Dun Dun!!!!_

**AU: Hahahaha! I like this chapter! I hope you did also, please review it. I've got big plans coming your way**


End file.
